I had an appointment with one of Dr Brightside Registrar's - Dr Speedy. The appointment as always starts with a long wait in the waiting room. Personally, I'm happy to wait. The person that is holding up the appointments obviously needs longer than the allotted 5 minutes to digest some comprehensive, difficult or devastating news - I would not begrudge anybody that time, I might need that extra time one day, so I'm happy to wait patiently, not harass the nurses, HCA's or receptionists (who avoid eye contact with any waiting patient - as I do myself when I'm faced with a crowded triage department), and treat all the staff with the respect they deserve. The appointment itself literally took 5 minutes: "how was I post Chemotherapy? I'm happy for you to carry on, see you in 6 weeks." I would have been happy to do that over the phone - but as a healthcare professional, I know there is nothing like a 'top to toe' visual check to ensure your patient is well.
The following week, I had my blood tested to ensure I was well enough to receive another blast of the toxic cocktail that is FEC chemotherapy. I'm a fit health individual, surely my bloods have super-strength and will have just batted the toxic substance towards the rogue evil enemy cells. When I saw my results - they were good enough for Chemo, but WOW! they had been battered! White Cells and Neutraphils - important good soldiers needed to fight infections - had all been depleted, close to the cut off margin. That was a big reality check, if that's after 1 dose of Chemo, whats going to happen next time?
And so Chemo no. 2 - this time I had the undivided attention of Nurse Dolphin (she's a swimmer!), absolutely lovely and very like me with my humour, the 3 hrs flew by with laughing and chit chat. Nurse Dolphin arranged for me to have an extra Anti-sickness drug - Emend, to stop me from being actually sick this time, and the experience was again, thankfully, anti-climatic. As with the first time, 4 hours later the nausea started, this time however I was sensible with my medicaton - this was not a competition to see how tough I was, I took the extra drugs on top of the essential drugs as advised. The nausea was still beyond awful - like being on the worst ferry on the roughest sea - but by the end of day 2 it was almost gone. The indigestion started again, and I again followed advice and my GP prescribed my Omeprozole to take throughout my treatment, this worked like a dream, and when the oral thrush started I smothered my mouth in Daktarin and it was gone by the afternoon. I was on top of everything and stopped it all in its tracks - I had learned a valuable lesson ..... how to listen to my body!! The other side effect that took me by storm in that first week was Fatigue - now I'm not talking about feeling tired or weary, I'm talking about being physically unable to keep my eyes open. I'd sit down, and 2 hours later wake up - I didn't even feel myself fall asleep! On the 5th night, I slept for 12 hours solid, a marathon sleep for me - but my body obviously needed it. Since then its been better, but I have regular 'quiet time' on an afternoon, and lazy weekend mornings - Life has taken on a much slower pace.
On Day 6 of this cycle, I realised that my nose hair had completely gone! my nose was constantly running and my sense of smell was heightened. Everything smelled so strong - not necessarily bad, but strong! My sons bedroom ............ stank of farts!! My Fiance sprayed on his usual bodyspray - it smelled like a 13 yr old had been into Boots and played with the samples! the dog .... my 15 yr old, old lady dog who follows me everywhere ....... my life! she stinks!!!!! And then, in the middle of the night, I rolled over onto my right side (Barbie boob doesn't let me lie on this side for long) and cuddled up to my lovely, warm, snoozing man .... I could smell his breath! it wasn't bad smelly breath - just sleepy breath! but it was strong sleepy breath!!, so I rolled over to party boob side - I could feel his cold breath on my little bald head!! so my choices were smelly or cold! what was I to do? stop him from breathing? slightly drastic maybe! So I slept, on party boob side, with a hat on, and halfway down the bed so he couldn't breathe on me!
On Day 6, I was feeling better and needed to get out and about, so my lovely Fiance, my youngest munchkin and I headed out for a rainy walk in a local nature reserve. This is a place that munchkin and I went to a lot in the summer holidays to feed the ducks and geese, but in the winter it's a different environment, and we were visited by so many robins - I even fed one out of my hand. Now I know there are several spiritual/superstitious beliefs around robins visiting you, and I can't help reflecting on them considering this reserve is very close to the area where my Dads ashes were scattered, but whatever the reason they visited, these little birds are cheeky!!
Now for the best bit of this cycle so far .... Day 7, I am now on the up and feeling well - although knowing that this is the week when my immune system is at its most vulnerable. I am ready to get out and about, get some fresh air and exercise (studies show that walking aids chemotherapy patient outcomes), so I drag (literally drag) one of my good friends out to our local forest for a walk in the rain. I was all wrapped up, thick coat, gloves, wig and hat and enjoyed the lovely walk and chat, and we were rewarded afterwards with a coffee and cake in the cafe. However, before we went into the cafe I needed the toilet so went into the public loo just nearby - as I was washing my hands another lady came out of a cubicle, this lovely lady was probably in her late 60's and obviously (from her conversation) had dementia or alzheimers. As we washed our hands, this wonderful woman started chatting to me about her walk with her friends - as I'm not adverse to a bit of chat with anyone, we had a lovely conversation before she suddenly said "I Love your hair, that's a lovely colour, turn around let me see the back" - that wonderful woman, stuck in her cruel battle, will never know what she did that day, in that public toilet! My confidence was boosted to the moon! I didn't tell her it was a wig. We saw her and her friends and husband in the cafe, I probably will never see her again, if I do she probably won't recognise me or remember the exchange - but I will never forget my Mrs Angel.
Top Tip of the day - don't dismiss strangers who start conversation, it might turn out to be the best thing you ever hear.
www.breastcancercare.org.uk
www.macmillan.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
I love reading your blog showing how well you listen to your body. I've always believed that a robin is a visitor too. Shame your sense of smell had to be accosted by boys bedroom smells- they are always very smelly 😖😷
ReplyDeleteThanks Matts Mom - love your comments. Boys bedrooms are the worst!!
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