12) Scaffolding

So this journey involves lots of battles to win a war, battles with the drugs, the surgery, the body changes, the confidence, the relationships. The only person fighting this war is you! and it can be a lonely place.  However, as I've said before - No-one needs to face cancer alone. Only you can fight the war, but you need an army around you to support you - physically, mentally, holistically & spiritually, because Cancer makes you question every part of your life.

Its a cliche, but very true - Some people who you assume will be there to support you, will disappear into the mist. Other people, who you don't even realise that you touched their lives - step up and become integral parts of your emotional scaffolding.

Partners, Children, Parents, hopefully form the strong arms of the scaffolding - they are the ones who see you at your worst and lowest, they see you cry, see you falter, hold you and call you beautiful when you're struggling with the wonky boobs and bald head. to allow you to have your crazy moments, to go along with the panic buys of camomile, food crazes, hats, scarves, and bras. They take control when you are not strong enough, they make you laugh, give you hope, remind you that you're loved - no matter what, and give you the purpose to keep fighting - always.

Friends and colleagues send cards, messages, flowers, sweets, cakes - anything to let you know 'I'm here for you' in overwhelming quantities. There are the friends who let you drag them out walking in the rain and the cold winter sunshine, turn up unannounced with a box of fruit and chat while you're in your pyjamas, take you for breakfast, lunch, coffee, cake to get you out of the house and breathe the fresh air and stop you from going stir crazy in the box that is your home.

Then there are the new surprise friends you pick up along the way. There are support groups and forums for people fighting the same form of cancer, but they don't suit everyone. I have struggled to go along to a local group, and I have found Forums informative at times, but sometimes a little frightening. By speaking out and being open about my Breast Cancer, I was contacted by a friend of a friend who was fighting the same battle, It was just after my first Chemo and she was about to have her first Chemo. This fellow Warrior Princess was a similar age to me, had a similar diagnosis and would be having the same Chemotherapy combination as me. Via social media we began to talk and found that we work in the same hospital, and that I grew up with her husband (small world). Before I knew it, 4 more warriors contacted me or my new friend, all of similar ages and similar diagnosis, but all with different treatment plans, and at different stages - but ALL very positive, funny and like-minded people. We have developed a little group chat where we can chat freely anytime, day or night - we have been known to chat at 4am when some of us were having an insomnia night, and its not all about cancer - its about family, dogs, work, politics, everything! we laugh, we cry, we wish each other luck as we keep track of each others appointments and treatments, we share photos of battle scars and hair loss, we tell each other things that we cant say to anybody else, we ask about side effect - has anybody else had this? or am I actually mad now?. We are all Warriors, and these five women have become a vital part of my scaffolding - and proof that I am right! Even the most shy, introvert person (which I'm not!) can find support and help along this journey. Thank Goodness for social media!

 www.breastcancercare.org.uk

 www.macmillan.org.uk

 www.cancerresearchuk.org