Since the last update I have lost 2 strong independent women in my life. My mother-in-law, Nanny-B whom I've mentioned before; she was the most inspirational women I have had the honour of knowing, she taught me how to rock cancer with dignity and a smile. Sadly she lost her battle with ovarian cancer on February 24th - but she left us in true form, with dignity and style! Her funeral was a beautiful celebration, with several funny elements - just as she would have liked. and we played 'Supermarket Flowers' by Ed Sheeran, as it fits perfectly as a narrative of her last day.
A colleague, friend and mentor of mine also sadly passed away the following week. This lady was one of the funniest women I have ever known, and taught me how to drag my backside through nightshifts! now, although I cant wait to get back to work, there is a shadow on that return.
However, it hasn't all been doom and gloom. I'm here to tell you about my experience with 'T' (docetaxel, also known as Taxotere - the second part of FEC-T) so far! well its certainly different to FEC, I cant decide if i'ts better or worse, just different. maybe it's a bit worse as I'm not sure I could cope with T at the start of treatment - FEC toughens you up ready for T (maybe!). I've had 2 doses so far, the second being better because I was prepared for what was going to happen. The side effects don't kick in straight away like the FEC, they tend to start on day 3 and last for approx 5-6 days (for me! remember this is my story, everyone is different.) The main side effect is bone pain - in the legs and hips mainly, but for the first time, even my ears ached! I thought I had a high pain threshold and would get through with paracetamol and ibuprofen - boy! was I wrong!! when I found myself in the fetal position sobbing, I knew I needed the hard stuff. Second time around I was armed with Co-codamol 30/500 and Tramadol, and it was much better, I don't think the pain lasted as long the second time around either. Other side effects are extreme fatigue (I slept for 16 hours last Saturday!), and taste alteration - even water tastes of cigarette ash! I have found that Ice lollies help with this, and it is a good way to get the fluids in. Its so hard to drink the required 2.5L when it all tastes so awful, sparkling water has also helped. Friends of mine have had problems with sore/itchy hands and feet, but I didn't, my face still dried out but nothing like when all my skin came off with FEC. I'm just coming into week 2 now, and I'm feeling OK just tired and weak, but I have had a throat infection this time so that would contribute to this. The other issue with T, is the steroids! every time I'm given big doses of Dexamethasone to help protect from allergic reaction, which leaves me very bloated, very red, and allows me to have approximately 2 hours sleep a night! but that's only for 3 days, so its do-able.
Enough of the shite now!! I have had some fun and frolicks too. I have continued to walk as much as I can - some walks being very muddy! but always rewarded with cake - of course!
I am fortunate - as I've said several times, that my friends have been a massive support, and walk with me whenever I need to.
Another thing I took part in this time was a 'Look Good, Feel Better' session. This is a make-up training session held by Macmillan for women batting the big C war, I went along with my Wiglet friend Marie, and was taught how to apply make-up more effectively, how to give the illusion of eyelashes and how draw on eyebrows (without looking shocked all the time). We met several other ladies at all stages of treatment, some had completed treatment, some would never be done with the war - but we all laughed so much! and came away with a huge bag of freebies, from some really expensive companies - I felt spoiled rotten!
I also had an evening of pampering from my little person - my hair is growing back, although still sparse, it is about 1cm long now (and dark with a few grey - we don't talk to the grey!), so Tilly decided to put some clips in to make me pretty!! we laughed until we cried, and I finally plucked up the courage to go public with my baldness to give my facebook friends a laugh too! and as I don't like scarves or typical 'chemo hats', I experimented a bit with a bandana!
On the subject of hair growing back - quick update: legs, growing and need shaving, pubic hair starting to grow, armpits are still bald, brows and lashes still very sparse! I haven't noticed any facial hair yet (apparently this is common and I need to ignore it as it will go away on its own), and my nose still drips so no hair there either. and Nails - nails are getting stronger and less splitting, but nail varnish just wont stay on!
I have had the opportunity to put my journey in perspective in the last few weeks: I caught my cancer early on, I have lost a breast, but have had a fantastic reconstruction. I am going through Chemo which is so, so hard - at times! but I can pretty much predict my cycle and have managed to maintain a 'life' throughout it all, and I am nearly complete. I have radiotherapy to look forward to, but that's fine, and the end is in sight. I have so many positives in my life, that the negatives can usually be either pushed to the back of my mind or twisted into a learning experience.
In the last few weeks I have met:
One lady who has been having chemo for the past 8 years for ovarian cancer! 8 years!!!
One lady who was treated for breast cancer 2 yrs ago, and its now in her spine. she is now having chemo until it no longer works .......
One lady who successfully beat Breast Cancer, but recently had half a lung removed due to lung cancer.
One lady who has chemo at the same time as me (I go every 3 weeks and it takes 3 hours), however she was there for 10 hours on the Monday, the afternoon on Tuesday, and the afternoon on Wednesday with me.
and, I heard from one of my Wiglet friends, one of her friends had started FEC and her liver didn't respond favourably.
so ....... how bloody lucky am I? I maybe the 1:2 statistic, but despite my low days and somersaults - I'm sailing through!! Thank God and may it continue.
1 more Chemo to go!! Although its awful, I cant wait to get there!! Bring it on!!
www.breastcancercare.org.uk
www.macmillan.org.uk
www.cancerresearchuk.org
