4) There's a Cyclone Coming!

And so, there was another week to wait for the full diagnosis, dates for further tests and a plan. This was the longest week as I had exhausted all of my information gathering, and had the task of telling people. At the same time as all this was going on, my Mother-in-law was an in-patient battling Ovarian Cancer and not in a good place, so Nic and I decided not to tell her anything until it was absolutely necessary. We also decided not to tell our 7yr old for a variety of reasons - I will discuss this on another page, as children are just incredible creatures that we underestimate constantly! But there were our other children to consider (ages range from 22 -17), my Mum and my close friends and colleagues. I knew that people would be supportive and kind, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for what happened!! The Army Assembled!!! As word leaked out I received message after message, cards, letters, calls you name it! I was overwhelmed. You go through life making little impressions on peoples lives, but you don't realise what a massive part of life you are to them until the proverbial hits the fan. My faith in human nature has been filled to the brim. One thing I am certain of, no-one needs to face cancer alone, just speak and you will be heard, by many. 

By the end of the week I had come out of 'manic mode' and entered  'calm as long as I get my own way mode'.

The next appointment came around and Dr Mumbles joined Nic and I in the consultation room, he mumbled that my cancer was ER positive (meaning it was being fed by oestrogen), then he looked at my file, mumbled something else and left - we were very confused!! the next thing we knew Nurse Lovely came in followed by Dr Mumbles and the Consultant - like a whirlwind! - now I can only assume that she already knew that I was annoying and wanted to be  'actively involved in my care plan'  and that I didn't want surgery in May due to the wedding, but she was amazing! she was just what I needed - Lovely, smiley, kind, and straight to the point. Miss Cyclone examined me at super-speed, and then said "right, I've seen the scans, I want to do the surgery before chemotherapy and as you are small breasted (excuse me! more than a handful is a waste, thank you!!)  and don't have too much body fat (winner!), I propose we perform a new technique - you have to have a full mastectomy on the right breast, so I'm going to perform a skin sparing, nipple sparing mastectomy and reconstruction, with lymph node clearance. Get dressed and come through and we'll pick a date" and that was that! 

When I went into the next room, Miss Cyclone showed me the silicone implant and Braxon mesh that was going to be used to reconstruct my breast, and explained very clearly what the surgery would entail. I am fully aware from my research that reconstruction is not cosmetic surgery, it is 'doing the best with what you've got left', but Miss Cyclone filled me with confidence. She explained that there is a risk of rejection, that the nipple is not  guaranteed but she would try, and that I would have 2 drains in situ following the operation. Then she gave me a date - the next week!! I needed to have medical illustration photographs, a bone scan and a CT scan, another appointment with Miss Cyclone to discuss the MDT meeting (the knights around the round table), a pre-op assessment and of course I needed to get waxed before then! This was going to be one busy week! 

I had the photographs taken the same day, now let me tell you Katie Price does not need to worry that I might take her place in any glamour shots! By this point I've had my boobs out all over the hospital, but the photographers studio was the worst place ever! firstly - I had to request an alternative photographer, as the one on duty was someone I work a lot with, and he is not getting a peek and the goods! secondly - the replacement was a young fitty - why couldn't they send in a random overweight middle aged someone? thirdly - no gown or sheet to cover my modesty as I took the 10 steps from door to marked point, I felt so exposed and vulnerable in my leggings and boots, and finally - I didn't know weather to smile, pout or cry! maybe I should have had some props? a riding crop, hat, chair? The nervous sweating was also a very attractive addition to the party! - like I said, glamour modelling is not my forte! Thankfully although it felt like it took ages, it took minutes and young fitty was very respectful and kind. 

The Bone scan was first - this was a tough one, because I was injected with a radioactive dye and couldn't hug or sit next to my little one until the following day. Explaining that to a 7 year old was awful. but the next morning we had extra cuddles before school to make up for it. The scan itself wasn't too bad, not that claustrophobic and didn't take too long. 

The next appointment with Miss Cyclone was a quick one - as yet again she was a whirlwind, she confirmed that all of the knights were happy with her plan and took consent for the procedure. 

I saw my beauty therapist friend and had my legs and bikini line waxed while she cried because I had breast cancer!! I did have to tell her to get a grip before she started stripping my legs of all the flesh!! (I'm sure she was upset because of what I would be going through, not because of the loss of future business - waxing is not recommended while having chemo).

The pre-op and CT scan were on the day before the op - The CT scan was fine, not too claustrophobic as I expected,  but the barium drink you have to guzzle beforehand is a real 'treat'! 

Miss Cyclone came to tell me just before the op that the CT scan was clear - my cancer had not spread - winner again!!

 www.breastcancercare.org.uk

 www.macmillan.org.uk

 www.cancerresearchuk.org