3) But I make my own Granola!!

And so results day finally came around. Over the past few days I had collected my ammunition for the ensuing war - ammunition in the form of knowledge; knowledge is power and all that! I read research papers, blogs, forums, the Cancer Research website, the Macmillan website, NICE guidelines, and looked at a million surgical images (perhaps NOT highly recommended at this point!). Now, I have a bit of an issue with stationary, as in I love it!! and this situation definitely called for a new notebook and pen!  I loaded my new book  with a ton of questions ready to ask the doctor (this strategy I would HIGHLY recommend). As a medical professional I've done the training on 'breaking bad news', I know the typical responses, I know that the recipients mind might completely empty of all information and questions, and that only key words might be heard: 'Cancer', 'surgery', 'chemotherapy' and the important filler information my be blocked out (so take a sensible person with you as a listener) - I also know its a very bad day in the office for the Doctor, and he can only tell me so much information in one sitting. And, I know how it feels to have the sadness and pain of your patient follow you home.

Now, if you are tempted to delve into the world of research and treatment etc. Please remember these few points: 

* Google or any other search engine, does NOT actually have a medical degree.

* Information from other countries is often irrelevant in the UK.

* You are unique, your cancer is unique, your treatment is unique, your side effects will be unique.

* There is a lot of very dubious information dressed up as 'evidence' out there.

However, there is also some very good stuff, hints, tips and advice. Personally I found that by researching I felt like I was doing something productive rather than just sitting around. I did find a claim in several sources that Camomile Essential oil can destroy 93% of breast cancer cells - I'm not endorsing this or saying that it is correct, but I did start rubbing the oil in three times a day, drinking Camomile tea, infusing it around the house and bathing in it - I slept really well......

Anyway, back to the point. Results day in Dr Mumbles room, and this time he was accompanied by a Breast Care Specialist Nurse who introduced herself as my Key Worker (if I didn't 'know' before, this would have been a huge clue as to what I was about to be told!) As everyone had been, she was completely lovely. After Nic and I sat down Dr Mumbles spoke (actually quite clearly) "I'm sorry to have to tell you that we have found cancer cells in 2 of the areas that we tested. The breast and the lymph node. Your chest wall is benign. It is Grade 3 cancer. You will need surgery and further treatment. Do you have any questions?" (Grade is different to stage, that comes later. Grade 3 is the most aggressive form of BC).

Now, this is probably not what he said at all - its what I heard (remember what I mentioned about breaking bad news!).  My brain switched into professional mode - don't you worry guys, I've got this!! no tears, no shock, I had known for the past 4 days anyway. Out came the lovely new notebook, and I bombarded Dr Mumbles with questions about size and location of tumors, guidelines, policies etc etc - turns out my tumors were quite small 16 and 19 mm, but the whole of my breast tissue was calcified which apparently indicates pre-cancerous changes. 

My left breast is completely normal and well behaved, now known as the party boob (as it hangs free and easy, doing its own merry thing),  the right breast is now known as 'the Evil Twin'!

As I finished my last question, the relief on Dr Mumbles face was plain to see, I feel sure he's more comfortable with patients who nod and agree to everything that's said. Nurse Lovely then escorted us into another room so that the doctor could do referrals for bone scans, CT scans and the MDT (multidisciplinary team, this is everyone involved in your care. They sit around a table on a Wednesday afternoon and talk about you! A bit like King Arthur and the knights, or Dr Evil from Austin Powers, depending on your preference).

Now on reflection - 7 weeks on, I realise my brain was not in 'professional mode' as previously mentioned, I think I was more  in 'manic mode' as my next conversation proved. As we entered the room Nurse Lovely asked how I was feeling, my reply was "well I just don't get it, I'm healthy, I don't tick any 'at risk' box - I even make my own flaming granola!!"so apparently making your own granola does not protect you from breast cancer! Who knew? !

Nurse Lovely talked to Nic and I about what the possible treatment plan might be (this would be discussed among the knights around the round table the following day), and we still had to wait another week to find out if my cancer was oestrogen receptive, progesterone receptive, HER positive, or triple negative. I also needed a bone scan and CT scan to see if the cancer had spread outside of the breast tissue - so my diagnosis was still not complete.

What I remember being told is that I would likely have chemotherapy first and then surgery. My hair WILL fall out. I WILL be pushed into the menopause. And I WILL be back to full fitness eventually! And this WILL all take around 9 months, surgery WILL be in May!

OK, firstly 9 months I can do - it takes 9 months go grow a human, so that's a good time frame for me to focus on. Secondly, (let's remind ourselves that I have identified I'm in manic mode) - I'M GETTING MARRIED IN MAY! I CANT HAVE SURGERY IN MAY!!!! however, thirdly, I was given a beautiful new pink folder filled with information booklets from Breast Cancer Care UK and Macmillan - stationary and bed time reading in one gift, winner!!

*** A little side note, Breast Cancer Care has really user friendly information and advice, aswell as forums etc - well worth a look!***

 www.breastcancercare.org.uk

 www.macmillan.org.uk

 www.cancerresearchuk.org